Family gatherings are challenging if you struggle with social anxiety. The crowded room, the expectation to make small talk, and the pressure to appear okay with it all are overwhelming. What many see as a joyful event, you see as a source of dread.
But with the right tools and a little preparation, you can go to family festivities with more confidence and enjoy yourself.
At Reviv Functional Psychiatry & TMS Wellness Center in Fullerton, California, Dr. Sina Hidhu understands that well-meaning family events feel daunting when you live with social anxiety. Here are some strategies to help you navigate the season.
Preparation can make a big difference when facing anxiety-provoking situations. In the days leading up to the gathering, practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding exercises.
These skills help calm your nervous system and give you tools to use when anxiety spikes.
It can also help to plan conversation starters and responses ahead of time. For example, you might ask about someone’s recent trip, new job, or favorite holiday dish. Preparing a few go-to topics can ease the pressure of thinking on the spot.
Set realistic expectations for yourself. You don’t have to stay for the entire event or engage with everyone. Give yourself permission to step out or leave early if needed.
Even with preparation, social events are draining. Before you get to the gathering, decide where you can go to take a quick break if you feel overwhelmed —maybe a quiet room, the backyard, or your car.
Knowing you have a safe space to go to can reduce anticipated anxiety. Use breaks to regroup, drink water, and reset.
If possible, bring a friend or close family member who understands your social anxiety. Having a support person can make family gatherings feel more manageable. They can help you with conversation or simply help you stay calm.
You might even agree on a signal or code word to let them know when you need help or a break. Sometimes, just knowing you have a supportive friend with you can ease some of the pressure.
When anxiety takes hold, you may find yourself focusing on the things you feel you’re doing wrong. Are you talking too much or not enough? Can they see how nervous I am?
Try shifting your focus from how you’re doing to how you’re connecting. Family gatherings are about spending time with folks who care about you. Choose one or two people you want to reconnect with and prepare a few open-ended questions to spark conversation.
Small yet meaningful connections can feel more fulfilling than trying to mingle with everyone.
Attending a family gathering when you have social anxiety is an act of courage. You need to acknowledge that. Before the event, repeat positive affirmations like, “I can handle this,” or “I’m allowed to take things at my own pace.”
After the party, celebrate your effort rather than critiquing every moment. Think about what went well. For example, maybe you stayed a little longer than planned or made a genuine connection. Treat yourself kindly with a calming activity like journaling or reading.
Family gatherings are a good time to reconnect with loved ones, but if anxiety keeps you from going, support is available.
At Reviv Functional Psychiatry & TMS Wellness Center, we provide compassionate and personalized care for anxiety disorders. If you’re struggling to take that step, we can help.
Call us today or book an appointment online.
